Another (but this time, a lucid one) view of success

I can’t help but juxtapose Ivanka’s “we all have our advantages” philosophy against another world view I read just recently, in an enlightening and ultimately uplifting book titled Closing Time by Joe Queenan, a writer I admire a great deal for many reasons. What follows is an excerpt, Queenan’s take on the crapshoot we all call our destiny:

“American folklore stipulates that those who rise above their humble circumstances do so because of an indomitable will to succeed, coupled with the good fortune to inhabit a country that rewards industry. Here’s another: Poor people who succeed do so because they are born with talents that other poor people do not possess, because they are cunning enough to capitalize on these talents, and / or because they are either born lucky or develop a lucky streak pretty damn quick. If you are born poor and stupid, you’re going to need to be very lucky. If you are poor and stupid and ugly, you are going to need to be even luckier. If you are poor and stupid and ugly and a member of an ethnic group that American purports to admire but secretly abhors, then you might as well skip the preliminaries and get yourself started on a life of crime at the earliest possibly opportunity.

...

“Most things in life come down to the luck of the draw. Line up ten poor people. Nine of them won’t make it. One maybe two, will. It might as well be you, third pauper from the left. It will help if you are born with chutzpah and personality or are capable of unleashing a stupefying amount of violence on complete strangers in a short period of time with little concern for the consequences. But even that will not be enough. Everyone who is saved is saved because someone tossed him or her a lifeline or, in my case, numerous lifelines. It may be a parent, it may be an employer, it may be a teacher, it may be a priest, it may be a boxing instructor, it may even be a parole officer. But, as the events of Good Friday make abundantly clear, no one is saved all by himself. Alumni of the slums succeed either because someone is reaching down from above or because someone keeps pushing hard from below. Or, in the ideal situation, both.”

I don’t know about you but I find that viewpoint enormously refreshing in these days of endless empowerment or enlightenment or illumination or whatever the "you're wonderful" scheme of the day seems to be. I love the fact that first and foremost on Queenan’s list of “how to succeed” qualities is a little thing he labels “talent.” It's not a specific talent, not an option, not a vague concept none of us can quite grasp. A concept like, oh I don’t know…a concept like “some kind of advantage.”

Nope – Queenan chooses “talent” first and adds the ability to capitalize on your gifts and maybe a little luck as well in order to have “success.” He adds things like “chutzpah” and “personality” and then, only after those ingredients are in place, does he acknowledge that the assistance of others who want to see you succeed is vital.

So who do you side with here? Ivanka or Joe? I am clearly in the Queenan realism corner here. My sense is that when you achieve your success on something other than honest talent and ability, you’ve built it on a house of cards and your success is just about that secure. Unless, of course, the foundation on that stunning house of cards was built by the Trump Organization. Then, sure, you’ll probably be in pretty good shape all around.

Inexplicable and yet, yes, still annoying

Okay, I'll admit I don't know much about men but I really don't understand this thing so many of them have about sports teams, and loyalty and unrelenting passion year after year for a game. I've had men try to explain this to me and believe me, they get no where.

The mystery about men and sports was in the headlines over the past few days because comedian Billy Crystal was able to fufill a lifelong dream - a LIFELONG DREAM - LIFELONG!!!! - to play baseball with his favorite team, the New York Yankees. He got to wear a real uniform and face a real major league pitcher and stand at bat and try to get a real honest-to-God hit during spring training with the Yankees. Apparently he got ahead on the count and then struck out.

Wow. I wish I could relate to this on some level but I can't do it. Just can't summon up much to help me conjure up what this felt like for him. Oh wait - maybe having a baby? Creating the miracle of birth, perhaps, and in a matter of seconds have a living, precious, newborn baby emerge from my body and begin life as an independent human being on this planet? Maybe that? Maybe not. I'm sure he felt something just a little deeper, a little more cosmic, a little more mystical when he swung at the ball.

The funniest stories I've read about men and sports in a long time are found in a book titled True Believers by one of my favorite writers of all time, Joe Queenan. All I can tell you is that if you want the definitive book on men as fans, particularly men who relentlessly support perennial losers, please treat yourself to this book.

But getting back to Crystal and his fascination with the Yankees, I'll have to quote Queenan because I can't do better: "Crystal is one of those infuriating New Yorkers who acts as if his passion for the Yankees involves some sort of risk, when in fact saying you support the Yankees is like saying you support the air."

I haven't looked at the comments people posted about this story on MSN because I didn't want them to influence this post with the thoughts of others. I plan to check them out, though. I'm sure they'll run ten to one in favor of this whole episode - full of delight as they exclaim over this story. They'll mostly come from men who express some kind of desire to experience the same ridiculous fantasy Crystal has vicariously lived for millions of men in America.

You wait. Next year, Crystal will produce a documentary about his Yankee at-bat experience, or start a reality show about giving people their fantasy come true or some such nonsense. I could do without that. But I could've done without this whole story, too, and that didn't seem to matter.

Star indulgence and supremely annoying fan wrapped into one story. Almost like a double-header of aggravation.


http://amazon.com/true-believers

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb

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