Thursday, July 22, 2010

Neologism of the day: Incrankulous. That cranky feeling that inevitably sets in following something incredible that is - let's face it - annoying.

Not to go all 27 Dresses on you but true confession: I love the Sunday Styles Section.

Almost every week, I spend a few minutes skimming the Times wedding announcements trying to figure out which couple:

Spent the most money [although not likely their own] on college educations

Which couple had earned the most impressive degrees

Whose parents had the most notable backgrounds

Whose parents seemed to have the most humble resumes

What couple appeared to be truly soulmates / truly adorable

Who had the most charming “how we met” story

And finally –

Who was the most annoying bride, groom or couple? You knew I had to fit that last one in, right?

My rules are simple. All decisions by the judges (me) are final. And no pressure to fill every category every week. But I’m troubled when the facts appear too close to call from one couple to the next, which – if you read the Styles section – is often the case. I mean, how do you measure a Harvard, Harvard Law + Stanford, London School of Economics against a Harvard, Harvard Law + Yale, MIT PhD? I know, right? Impossible.

This past week, my most adorable couple had rather bohemian leanings. Their interests included photography and poetry, farming and learning to make cheese. I loved them. They registered for goats and farm equipment instead of china. Granted, their family backgrounds led me to believe that someone very close to them could easily deliver an entire herd of goats to their charming little farm but whatever. That’s typical for every couple mentioned, although I’ve never read about another couple asking for livestock as wedding gifts.

The couples who marry in their 60s and 70s do nothing but leave me in awe. The optimism and the “I’m giving this another shot”-ness of it all is spectacular. God bless.

Last week, though, I did find a winner in the annoying category. Not so much for me, but for every single person out there who has so much to give, with such a positive attitude. For every man and woman who, despite all good intentions and optimism toward the online dating world, hasn’t made a lasting connection. One of this week’s couples met online – yay – but the bride recounted her experience this way: “I was on literally for 48 hours before I met him.”

That’s just super, isn’t it?

Maybe this is all a result of unfortunate editing. Maybe her next lines were something like: "I know how that sounds and believe me, I know my story is unusual. I wish everyone could have the same experience with online dating that we had! We both feel incredibly lucky!!"

Let me digress for a moment here to say that several years ago, I worked with not one, but two women, who accompanied me to my company’s blood drive one day to donate blood. Not one, but both of them, were turned away because they were underweight. That’s right: They were too thin to donate blood. (Yes, your assumptions are correct. I was not turned away. Let’s leave it at that.)

So why bring this up now? Turns out, this is exactly the kind of circumstance you keep to yourself. The very notion of being too slim to spare a pint of blood could make the women around you, mmm, incredulous. And maybe a little cranky. Incrankulous. Let’s call it that.

I certainly understand that a young couple in love, telling the story of how they met and their courtship, then announcing their marriage, are insanely happy. Honestly, congratulations and I'm happy for you, in my own way. I wish you the best.

But sharing the story about your online dating membership that lasted all of two days before you met your true love? Even though I’m not in the dating world looking for love, that story made even me feel a little incrankulous. I’m guessing my single and looking-for-love sisters who read it may have felt something similar.


Anonymous said...

Hi - I am definitely glad to find this. Good job!

renee said...

Thank you - I'm very glad you did, too!
And I hope you'll be back again.