Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Please tell me this is rare. Please.

One day, I hope to never again be taken by surprise when I read the latest news about the insecurity of women and the lengths some of us will go to in order to feel worthwhile.

That day can't come soon enough. Once again, I have to ask: didn't we march about stuff like this? And write millions and millions of words about why this is so unnecessary? And look down on our sisters who cared about insignificant details like this?

That's what I thought, too - and yet...this.

Today's Daily Caller column for your contemplation. I'm starting to believe this kind of thinking is inevitable, as long as there are men and women on the planet, and researchers determined to interview them.


Pamela Varkony said...

This is a tough one: Not because I think having surgery on your feet to make them "thinner" is anything other than narcissistic insanity, but because I really do think there's something to the argument that when you think you look good you're more productive.

I know the preceding point is just more words from researchers who have seem to have nothing else to do but make women feel inadequate, but speaking for myself, when I'm having a bad hair day, I just don't feel as "competent". The thought process goes like this: If I can't figure out how to curl & brush my hair so it looks good, how am I ever going to solve that problem my client just dumped in my lap.

I think if we have estrogen, we're doomed.

renee said...

Those are interesting thoughts, Pam; thank you for sharing. For women - for me, anyway - nothing raises confidence like feeling put together and looking your best. Which is why I often feel like I need a new "outfit" for an event or a meeting. (Don't often act on that but I want to.)

On the other hand, there could be this perspective: I have little interest in spending a lot of energy being consumed by something as inconsequential as my hair - it's more important that I work to the best of my ability on whatever challenge comes my way.

NOTE: I have NEVER felt that way once in my life.

Which is why I tend to agree fully with your estrogen analysis. Doomed may be exactly the way to put it.

Anonymous said...

Wow, these procedures were news to me! But, in a sad way, not. Many images come to mind - the book "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" - women in China have made their own daughters cripples, forcing them to suffer excruciating pain, infection and even death rather than not have "perfect" tiny feet to marry well. A toe tuck seems like a walk in the park comparatively. Howard Stern was famous for his small foot fetish. Don't get me started on Seinfeld and his "man hands" episode, in which a perfectly lovely woman is rejected solely (small pun) on the basis of her having rather large hands.

Maybe I am sensitive to this issue because I not only have big feet, but was born with my father's congenital bunions. My feet were so ugly my father took me to a podiatrist as a young teenager and they were going to saw the bones off even though I told them my feet never hurt or bothered me. The doctor said I should wait until I was at least 16 or finished growing. As a 12 or 13 year-old I had the common sense to know I did not want anyone doing surgery or sawing off my bones at any point in my life, especially just to make me "prettier." That would mean 2 whole summers in a cast with crutches. Oh no, Summer was meant to run barefoot everywhere the minute school let out, making one's feet even more "ugly" with callouses while seeking adventure. I thank my now still intact (and nicely self-pedicured, thank you) clod hoppers for carrying me around for almost half a century!

Last, I find it hard to believe that Pamela ever had a bad hair day. But, I understand her point. I am guilty of trying to achieve Laurie Partridge hair in the 70's and perfecting my part in the middle with a pin. Why is our confidence level so tied to our appearance? Being pulled together is one thing, but Heidi Montaug is another. Thanks for another great article, Mary

renee said...

Thanks Mary!

We don't really seem to get past this, do we? Well, maybe we're slightly more evolved than we were at 14 - but still - it may well be part of our female DNA to want to "attract" a partner - whatever the current fashion dictates that to mean - and we can't help ourselves.

Even if that's the case, we can fight nonsense like toe tucks and foot lifts for god's sake. That's just insanity.

Thanks for your comment!!!